frigid

I am barely awake, drifting in and out of sleep. One foot in the waking world and the other in the dream scape, I hear the rain failing in the distance, I think it's rain. I barely register the flash then a loud crack and I'm stirred from my restless slumber, I take a moment to look around, it's dark and the room is featureless, where am I?

The night is cold and the rain is failing hard, there is a bitter taste in my mouth and a burning at the back of my head. I try to shake it off but the feeling remains. My hands are numb and my arms are heavy. Why? My body is unclothed.

I force myself up, the intensity of the burning increases tenfold and the room starts to spin. The pain forces me to my knees. I steady myself. The pain makes me feel sick, I retch but nothing comes out. The room keeps spinning but slower now, I'm dizzy. I muster all my resolve to stand to my feet. My legs are weak but slowly I stand up.

I see a door. I reach for it but not to open, to lean. I catch my breath, my knees almost give way again. I hold the handle, it's my only comfort. Slowly I turn the handle or did the handle turn itself? I don't know. I don't know. The door opens outwards and peer slowly out into darkness, I see the outline of a table and on it, something glinting, a shape I know. I am filled with dread. I push the door open and make my way slowly across the room to the table.

A knife! No not a knife, the handle is made of steel just like the blade, all one piece. A surgical instrument. A scalpel. I pick it up and it is suddenly familiar to me. The handle is cold against my skin. I run the blade gently down my chest, it leaves a line. It's still sharp. In the back of my mind someone says "Good, this will do". A stranger's voice and yet vaguely familiar. Another flash and the room is illuminated. In that instant I know I'm not alone. I saw her. Moving in the corner of the room. I think I saw her. Long hair, naked. I think I saw her. Who is she?

A giggle from where I saw her sends a shiver down my spine. I call out but with no voice. I hold the blade aside, ready to strike. My knees give way and I fall to the ground the pain is far worse. I hear it, movement. I perceive it. She's coming at me. She's moving quick. And when she's just upon me, I grab the blade and thrust upwards. I catch her square in the chest. I feel a warmth flow over my hands and hear a gasp escape her lips. I let go of the blade as she falls to the floor.

I lie there. I hear sobs coming from beside me. She's still alive. I push myself up and to look at my attackers face. I pull her close and slowly my eyes see hers. They are beautifully unfocused, dark eyes, tears in the corner. A fire barely there. I trace my hand over her face and it's all familiar. Who is she? Another flash and I see her complete. I know her. Oh my God what have I done. What have I done? Not her. Not her. What have I done. Tears are streaming down my face. My hands are shaking. Her eyes finally focus and they lock with mine. Her lips move the sound barely a whisper "I love you" and as the words escape her, the fire goes out in her eyes and all the warmth escapes her body.

The room is frigid. The voice comes to me again saying "Well done, there are more to come".