friendship, love and such things

I think I have by far some of the best friends that a person could ask for.

While I was in school I never quite fit in with the other kids. I was different. I was odd. I was a loner. I stood out and I was never comfortable with being me. I had friends but most of those friendships didn't mean very much. I would laugh with them but I never belonged. I just couldn't attach myself to them and so when I left school, I left them in my past. Consequently when I go back to Ipoh the only people I mix with are my church mates. Even in church I've always been different. Contrary.

I went to college. I still didn't fit in. I still felt like I didn't belong. I made friends again but even here I only was able to connect with a couple of people. One of those people became my best friend. My first best friend. We still keep in touch. We can still connect even though life has taken us to different places.

I went to university. For the longest time no one knew I existed. A lecturer once commented that if my name had not popped up on an assignment I had handed in, he'd never have known I was in his class, I was invisible. In my second semester at uni I met my second best friend. Though at the time I didn't know it. I was just trying to get notes from the guy with a scholarship. He obliged. Fast forward to today and that guy is still handing me notes but now we're best friends. It wasn't till my fourth semester at uni that I actually felt like I was starting to fit in. This second best friend helped. The people I started to consider friends grew. However it wasn't till last semester, my sixth semester that I really felt like I belonged. I met a whole host of people. I made a lot of friends. Things got better. I met my band and their all my best mates, their respective girlfriends as well. I met some crazy Australians, one of which became another best friend. I also met her.

It was a crazy semester. I fell in love with a girl, a very awesome girl and I fell hard. Unfortunately life being what it is has put between us a barrier. It's not insurmountable but it's not one that we're going to be able to overcome on our own steam. Maybe God will intervene and until that happens, we've decided friendship is what we can offer each other. Personally speaking, I would rather lose the world than lose this girl, so I'm making every effort to be her best friend and she mine. Still it hurts, there is an inexplicable pain in my chest, it hurts to breath at times, especially after seeing her and tears still flow freely from my face at the thought of her. Yet I feel the pain and tears are worth being around her because I feel absolutely sublime in her presence, her absence is the cause of my pain and tears. I'm learning to deal with it and she tries to help. Which always makes me smile. She makes me smile. It's hard to be miserable around her.

Who knows what the future holds? I feel God has been blessing me day by day. Though as I write this I feel sad, I feel an inner contentment and peace that I've never had before, I feel joy. At the moment I'm just rolling with the punches. God has blessed me with friends. I'm thankful for that. God blessed me with her in my life and I'm thankful for that too. Tomorrow is a new day.