my suicide note

Note: Before you read this understand that I am not suicidal, that this is a work of fiction, that I am in a bad mood and that I am very bored.

To the person who reads this,

I took my life today and the world probably did not notice that fact till you found my corpse with this note by my side. Still even with the knowledge of my passing the world will not be moved with sorrow, it will not mourn my loss, it will continue to spin as it always has and after my body has been cremated everyone who attended my funeral will go on with their lives. Let that be a lesson to you, no one really cares and the truth be told no one is obliged to.

To my mother, I'm sorry I was never the son I should have been and once again I fail you because I shall never be able to be that person. You always made things right, you always mended my heart and set me straight but not this time, I've done something no one can fix. I pray your heart mends soon, my sister and father will need you more than ever. My father especially. I love you and in death I will still love you wherever I may be.

To my father, I will never be the man I could have been, soon I shall be nothing more than the ash that lines your ashtray. My passing will lighten the load and my sister's future is now secure. I won't be around to argue with you and to test your patience. Perhaps my sister will benefit from the extra patience you can give her. I love you pap, I'm sorry I wasted so much and now have amounted to so little.

To my sister, you are special and I know that in life I never told you just how special you are. I know I gave you a hard time and I said things that put you down. Looking back on those things now I realise that I was always jealous at how much better you had things. Smarter, faster, better looking you are everything I wish I could have been. Do not let this stop you from achieving the greatness that was meant for you. At least I will have one less thing to envy about you in death. I love you and I will miss you.

To my friends, you made my daily life bearable, some of you were the building blocks of my day and others the icing on the cake. You all had your part to play in keeping me around but now I'm too far into myself to be enticed by your beauty and your friendship. This is where I end our journey together, this is where I say goodbye.

Dear reader no one, not one of you could have done anything to save me. Because I never wanted to save myself. I took my life not because I was afraid of the future but because I could see no future, I took my life not because I have no reason to live but the reasons I have weren't enough, I took my life because I couldn't face another day being me. I love you all more than anything and there in lies the problem, I have no more love left for myself. Fear not, none of you shall have to see me suffer in the place I'm going to, hell is not for any of you. Goodbye.

Yours sincerely,
Tristan D.