I watched two films today. One at home and one at the theatre. Crank 2 - High Voltage at home and GI Joe at the place I mentioned in the previous sentence.
Crank 2 was absurd, a little crude, random, ridiculous and very entertaining.
GI Joe on the other hand was a run of the mill, Hollywood re-envisioning of a good old-school television show that was mind you, an integral part of my childhood much like many other similar intellectual properties of the era, that era being the mid 80s to early 90s.
It follows the Transformers route as opposed to the Iron Man route of Hollywood film making formulas. Which is, Hollywood takes a good tv show makes a film about it, then proceeds to defecate all over said intellectual property and in the process ruin countless good childhood memories. I'm not saying it was a bad film. No I'm most certainly not saying that, I might be very vaguely hinting it but I'm not saying it. Not out loud at least. I digress.
For most people who grew up without watching the Joes on tv (I'm looking at you kids of the 90s, yes your pansy-<insert expletive that means buttocks but can also mean mule or donkey and rhymes with bass; the fish not the low end frequency spectrum or instrument> generation), the film would have been mildly entertaining so long as you could overlook the goofy acting, cheesy lines, random Brendan Fraser cameo and reality defying physics. Yes if you could overlook all that it be mildly entertaining. The dialogue was predictable as were a lot of the entrance sequences for the main characters but you can't hate that really. Its stereotypical of the action genre.
Like Transformers 2, it was explosion, explosion, not very clever plot twist, cleavage, more explosions, slow motion explosions, slow motion cleavage and more explosions for good measure. The main difference between it and Transformers was this, one had robots fighting robots and the other had ninja fighting ninja as well a sexy brunette who could act (thank you Sienna Miller, yeah I'm looking at you Megan Fox you talentless excuse for an actress, brunettes everywhere die a little inside when your name is mentioned, also you're not sexy).
Don't get me started on Duke or Cobra Commander.
On the bright side the explosions were nice. So was Sienna Miller. She's hot. Very hot. The redhead was also hot-ish. The best actor through the film was probably the guy playing the French tech guy for the Joes. He had a Spanish accent in the last season of Lost and managed to pull off a really convincing French accent in GI Joe. Sienna Miller wasn't really playing the Baroness (Russian accent was missing amongst other things) but she did act well.
So yeah that was my day. I met up with Dom, she informed me that I was too passive (i.e. laid back, relaxed, nonchalant even) and that brought out the antagonist (READ: Bitchy) in her. Very nice. I love Dom, I shall strive to be more in "your" face next time. I swear. And now I chuckle because I can.
I've been listening to Duality by Slipknot, there is something about that song. And now after watching GI Joe, it seems even more relevant.
I put my fingers into my eyes...
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