independence day: you can shove it

Malaysian independence to me is one big farce. I constantly ask people, independence from what? What are we free of exactly? What oppression did we find relief from when Malaysia was declared an independent, sovereign nation?

The honest truth is we traded one oppressor for another. That is of course if you want to label the Brits as oppressors. Personally, I don't think they were all bad. Racism aside, the Brits brought us into the 20th century. A feat I suspect this backwater nation could not have achieved on its own, not at least at the rate it has done. Which to a certain extent in spite of the technologies, policies and ideologies the Brits brought with them, this nation remains a third world nation with prevailing 5th world mentalities.

Some might argue that the Brits came to pillage and plunder, rape the country of all its resources and then leave like locust. I say that argument is specious. If the Brits were hell bent on keeping all the wealth of this nation, Malaysia would be more like Indonesia, where the Dutch truly did drain the nation of most of its resources in order to line coffers of the Dutch treasury. I think our foreign conqueror was a much kinder taskmaster than that of many other nations.

We speak of independence day like we did something to fight for it. We didn't. What the history books neglect to tell you is this, the general British public opinion after World War II was to do away with the colonies. England had to recover from the beating it took and no longer had the resources to maintain a presence in their colonies. This was especially true after they lost India, who by the way really did fight and suffer for their independence. India was their pride and joy, the jewel of the empire and without it they weren't interested in the rest of us. How did we win our independence? On a silver platter. We sent a delegation to meet the Queen and Prime Minister of England and after talks, the terms of our independence was agreed upon. Which by the way, thanks to the manipulation of the constitution has been grossly breached.

And then there was unrest here in the form of the communist movement. Sir Gerald Templer, in charge of putting to route the communist insurgency told England that if they expedited the process of independence, the insurgents would have no reason to fight. So instead of independence in 1963, we received it in 1957. By the way, the Brits didn't leave immediately, they left armed forces here to protect us and many of the positions in the civil service were still held by British officers until Malaysians had been trained to replace them. They could have packed up and left straight away, which would have been disastrous for a fledgling nation like ours. Especially in light of the threat that the Philippines and Indonesia posed at the time when they had lofty ideas of creating Maphilindo.

Our condemnation of the British has made us a bitter people and has also turned us into ingrates. It is truly disgraceful, the manner in which we regard the British. We forget about the countless lives, of young British men and women who shed their blood on our soil to protect us from the Japanese invasion, soldiers as young as 17, if you look at the gravestones in Batu Gajah and Taiping. Our lack of gratitude makes a mockery of the lives these men lost and the families that were broken apart by those casualties. By the way the Japanese were the most brutal occupational foreign force to have ever set foot on our soil. They were cruel, heartless and downright despicable. This is especially true for the Chinese people, who were slaughtered because of some ancient grudge that the Japanese had against them. Under Japanese rule, if you were outside your home after curfew, it didn't matter what the colour of your skin was or how old you were, if you weren't Japanese you were shot, if you were lucky or beheaded if you weren't.

Today the Brits are painted as the worse thing that could have happened to us. When any sane person, with the ability to logically deduce things will realise that the scum that runs this nation today are truly the worse thing that could have happened to us. At least during the British occupation we were all discriminated against equally but if you preformed well you could go far. Well as far as the bounds of racism would allow you and in British racism, that was pretty far. But today the apartheid like nature of this country robs everyone of true freedom and independence.

What bogs me down is this, the stupidity that is the underlying driving force behind the sentiment of "Malaysian Independence". It makes me sick to my stomach. So many people wish each other happy merdeka, happy independence day, so on and so forth. What they're doing is telling people how ignorant they are of the situation this nation is in and how far we truly are from an Independent Malaysia, where all men are equal.

As cliché as this may seem, I quote Martin Luther King Jr.

"Change does not roll in on the wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle. And so we must straighten our backs and work for our freedom. A man can't ride you unless your back is bent."

the phoenix

The Phoenix rises on the wings of the dawn,
She flies to take her place in the sky,
And baths the sleeping world in the warmth of her light,
Caressing you and I with the soft glow of her falling touch,

Dew drops catch the light in rainbows of beauty,
Stretching across distances infinite and unknown,
Freshly laid on the grass that greens our planet,
The Phoenix rises while the world sleeps on,

Rest assured so long as she hovers in the air,
That today is a brand new day,
Yesterday is but a distant memory,
And tomorrow is a thought to far away,

The Phoenix at dawn,
Sings her song,
Breathes life into the day,
While we will wake to waste it away,

The Phoenix rises on the wings of the dawn,
She flies to take her place in the sky,
And bath the sleeping world in the warmth of her light,
Caressing you and I with the soft glow of her sight,

the post with such diverse elements as to be non-sequitur

What should I talk about tonight? Honest answer, I don't really know.

A recap of something I read.

Fresh in my mind is a post by a friend of mine, Amanda about being single and the elevated monetary costs incurred by such a state as well as society's perception of it being normal to be in a relationship and to want children rather than to choose the life of a single person or person who does not want children. An interesting read, it was most definitely passionate which boggles my mind, she's tiny I wonder where she puts all that conviction. It must be the fiery red hair she sports, she seems to have taken on the nature of the colour red. Someone might equate that to her turning into a skittle but I wouldn't.

She also touched on finding "the one" a subject I've had a few run ins with. And I agree with her, there is no "one". Life is not a Jet Li movie or the Matrix, you're not going to meet someone and suddenly obtain super relationship type powers. What exists is a person who brings you joy, who despite your flaws loves you and you love them in spite of theirs. Something you make work because you want to. The one is a matter of choice not fate or destiny. A relationship like so many things is about what you want to bring to the table and the effort you're willing to put into it to make it a success. It's a case of making the most of what you have to work with. Which does not correlate to settling. Finding perfection is a flawed idea, I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's about finding the perfect imperfections. Someone whose imperfections work for you. I couldn't see myself dating someone who was perfect, I love quirks. Perfect people don't surprise you and that's never fun. It's like how you can ruin Christmas for yourself if you peek at the presents days before you're supposed to open them.

She also touched on abortion, a subject that has never sat well with me. I can't reconcile the termination of life with the clinical manner in which it can be decided. I've always been of two minds when it comes to subjects like this. One part of me realises that cases exists where the child that was conceived, was conceived through nefarious methods, in a nutshell rape.

There are also the cases of teenage pregnancies which can ruin a person's life if the child is carried to term. You never want to give birth to a child and resent its existence. However then you have to ask yourself if people don't have to deal with their mistakes will they ever learn? Juxtaposed is the other question, what quality of life can a teenager give to this child? Difficult questions without easy answers. In fact the subject is so subjective it's ludicrous to try and comprehend all the variables the situation brings with it. Such is the dichotomy of teenage pregnancies. However that is in itself a completely different subject. Foetal rights is such a farce. How can we quantify humanity by the number of weeks since insemination? What about the soul? A can worms. Sigh.

Moving onto less heavy stuff.

Today the band hit the studio to blow off some steam and work out our songs. I don't know what got into us today but we were on fire. Our two new songs Header and Jerry's Sad Song (Yes those are currently the titles of the songs, we're not really big on song names, in fact they tried to name a song I wrote as the John Mayer song fortunately that's been changed to Goodbye, Goodnight after Rashaad and I protested) just came together perfectly. I can't explain it but yeah there was this synergy. We were all on the same page. Bass lines came to me like the ten commands were revealed to Moses. Difference here is that I didn't have to chisel them down on stone tablets, no instead I got to play them on a mighty axe. I would say my mighty axe, but Sophia is still in the shop. Good news everyone! (yes, if you suddenly thought of Professor Hubert Farnsworth from Futurama you are a certified genius in my books and if you didn't or don't know who that is just move onto the next part) She's ready to be collected, everything checks out and she's ready to growl again. This makes me most happy.

Finally, I've been a little moody and subdued this past week and a half. I haven't really been in touch with anyone in any form of meaningful way. The mind has been a little diffused, mildly numb and generally preoccupied with things that are really of no great consequence. Such is how I am made. Hope you've found this update entertaining. Cheers.

wake up

So I'm awake again, facing another quiet night. The solitude of it is compounded by the cubicle that is my room. Outside lurks the dark unknown, I do not pause to guess that which lies in the murky twilight. Instead I sit here filled with my sorrow, my thoughts are not lucid, my mind is like the ball on a roulette wheel, spinning in the opposite direction. I barely notice time slipping through my fingers. I'm caught only in the silence of its wake.

I've found myself letting go again, letting life slip by me. Am I so tired of this world that I cannot bear the light of day and so I hide in shadow? Keeping myself locked away in my little world. A world no one gets into.

Songs play in my mind, singing to me only sadness.

I'll wake up. I have to wake up. I have to wake up.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

Life is waiting for me outside my door but I don't know for how much longer? Will I wake up in time? Time is falling away. Soon I'll have none at all.

the post that rants about hollywood films

I watched two films today. One at home and one at the theatre. Crank 2 - High Voltage at home and GI Joe at the place I mentioned in the previous sentence.

Crank 2 was absurd, a little crude, random, ridiculous and very entertaining.

GI Joe on the other hand was a run of the mill, Hollywood re-envisioning of a good old-school television show that was mind you, an integral part of my childhood much like many other similar intellectual properties of the era, that era being the mid 80s to early 90s.

It follows the Transformers route as opposed to the Iron Man route of Hollywood film making formulas. Which is, Hollywood takes a good tv show makes a film about it, then proceeds to defecate all over said intellectual property and in the process ruin countless good childhood memories. I'm not saying it was a bad film. No I'm most certainly not saying that, I might be very vaguely hinting it but I'm not saying it. Not out loud at least. I digress.

For most people who grew up without watching the Joes on tv (I'm looking at you kids of the 90s, yes your pansy-<insert expletive that means buttocks but can also mean mule or donkey and rhymes with bass; the fish not the low end frequency spectrum or instrument> generation), the film would have been mildly entertaining so long as you could overlook the goofy acting, cheesy lines, random Brendan Fraser cameo and reality defying physics. Yes if you could overlook all that it be mildly entertaining. The dialogue was predictable as were a lot of the entrance sequences for the main characters but you can't hate that really. Its stereotypical of the action genre.

Like Transformers 2, it was explosion, explosion, not very clever plot twist, cleavage, more explosions, slow motion explosions, slow motion cleavage and more explosions for good measure. The main difference between it and Transformers was this, one had robots fighting robots and the other had ninja fighting ninja as well a sexy brunette who could act (thank you Sienna Miller, yeah I'm looking at you Megan Fox you talentless excuse for an actress, brunettes everywhere die a little inside when your name is mentioned, also you're not sexy).

Don't get me started on Duke or Cobra Commander.

On the bright side the explosions were nice. So was Sienna Miller. She's hot. Very hot. The redhead was also hot-ish. The best actor through the film was probably the guy playing the French tech guy for the Joes. He had a Spanish accent in the last season of Lost and managed to pull off a really convincing French accent in GI Joe. Sienna Miller wasn't really playing the Baroness (Russian accent was missing amongst other things) but she did act well.

So yeah that was my day. I met up with Dom, she informed me that I was too passive (i.e. laid back, relaxed, nonchalant even) and that brought out the antagonist (READ: Bitchy) in her. Very nice. I love Dom, I shall strive to be more in "your" face next time. I swear. And now I chuckle because I can.

I've been listening to Duality by Slipknot, there is something about that song. And now after watching GI Joe, it seems even more relevant.

I put my fingers into my eyes...

of riddles and flames, fires and names

I talk in riddles of fires and flames and of things too wonderful to name.

I've gone a circle about a pivotal plot, found the resting place of the lonely moth, who sits a top the master's clock, keeping watch over time and space and listening to the sound of tick-tocks. I am beauty in motion, prized in the heart of a sailor's devotion, like the splendour of the open ocean, the sweetness of this potion. I am the fire's fame, a soul you cannot contain, a heart you cannot tame, too wonderful to name. Roller coasters and their paths I've traveled, I hope the road before me doesn't unravel, lest I fall again to the carousel, whose motion is of a revolving prison. It's been awhile since I've smiled, I think my heart has been on trial, today I am once again a child, the innocence of that first smile.

Once again I speak in riddles of fires and flames and of the crimson fame too wonderful to name.

this little monkey goes bananas

I am the monkey,
No I'm not chunky,
It's all kinda funky,
When you're the monkey,

I scream and howl,
Beat my chest and growl,
Make thrusting motions,
It all quite foul,

I've got bananas,
No they aren't wearing pyjamas,
They're cruising through the Bahamas,
Yes my lovely bananas,

I am the monkey,
You might think I'm a little funny,
It's better than being dreary,
I, the bananamonkey,

I am vulgar,
Sweetened with sugar,
Hot and bothered,
I'll cut you no quarter,

I've gone bananas,
Most certainly lost my manners,
But not my bananas,
Assuredly I've gone bananas.

the post that slowly loses its mind

It's been sometime since I've written an actual post. I realise I've neglected this space posting only my most random thoughts in the form of silly poetry. I've had a lot on my mind but nothing worth putting down on paper as it were.

So what's new?

It's a new semester, which always perks my mood. New people in a very general sense means new relationships which in turn means new conversations about new subjects, at least I hope it translates to that.

We've got a new edition to the band, my new bass guitar, Sophia the Silvery Axe of Awesomeness. I call her Soph, she growls. It be very nice. Our band has also acquired a new tambourine. The Tambourine of Whimsical Delight. Rashaad likes her. He was having a whale of a time slapping her about. The Djembe might be slightly jealous as Rashaad now has to split his attention between the two of them during our acoustic gigs.

Which reminds me, we're playing at the hostelite party at Monash on Friday the 7th of August at an unspecified time after 7.30pm on the rooftop of Monash's building 7. I digress.

Our music is going well. Still working out the kinks in the recording process. Thing and Header are sounding really sexy. Still waiting to hear Goodbye, Goodnight and Hey Now mixed. I wrote Goodbye, Goodnight don't ask me what it's about because when I wrote it I was half asleep at something like 4am but yeah I hope it come out well. We've got another 4 or 5 songs in the mix.

One day people, Crossing Boundaries on iPods everywhere. Infecting the air waves with our unique brand of retardation. When the time comes don't forget to get your souvenir XB beer mugs. Definitely beer mugs, Shaneil will see to it. Rum will be a pre-requisite for every concert and t-shirts with super heroes on them.

Reality, we come back to it now. I've already met a couple of interesting new people at uni. I'm glad.

I'm listening to Pink by Aerosmith. That song always brings a smile to my face. Classic use of euphemisms and innuendos. Indeed. If you don't know what I'm talking about well, I'm sorry son you're missing out on a brilliant slice of musical comedy.

A post of mine is never complete without a seemingly arbitrary and almost non-sequitur mentioning of monkeys. They're still plotting our demise. I've ensured my safety though, I've stockpiled my banana (the fruit) reserve.

I think my odd fixation with simians comes from being bitten by one when I was ten years old. That monkey was vicious and it drank coke cola. Probably a reason behind why I don't drink coke. Well ok I do drink coke but I don't like it very much. True story. Having said all that, I do like my brother apes. As posted a while back regressing to our more primal state would definitely ease the worlds worries. After all the only itch that would need scratching would be the itch on your butt and in monkey society it's not rude to scratch yourself in public. Sigh. What a world that would be.

Reality, we have once again drifted away from it. Where was I? Actually I've lost myself. I'm right here where I was before but now Janie's got a gun. I think she killed her dad. They found him on the train tracks. She ran.

Reality, has given up on us.

Hope this has kept you entertained, I hope you kept up with the slow descent into madness. You know you did and you loved it. Cheers.

don't you cry little girl

don't you cry little girl,
i'll tell you a lie,
just to make you smile,
no one would hurt a child,

don't you cry little girl,
i'll tell you a lie,
just look into my eyes,
no one ever dies,

don't you cry little girl,
i'll tell you one more lie,
just to keep you smiling,
everything is going to be alright.

everything is going to be alright,
so stop those tears little girl,
take another step out into the world,
and you'll see, everyone lies to smile,

the fire inside the wire

to the ground i am wired,
on broken wings not mended,
the fire inside this wire,
takes me to some place higher,

tells me we weren't meant to be cinders,
we were meant to burn much brighter,
it is time to reignite this fire,
take me to a place that is higher.