wake up

So I'm awake again, facing another quiet night. The solitude of it is compounded by the cubicle that is my room. Outside lurks the dark unknown, I do not pause to guess that which lies in the murky twilight. Instead I sit here filled with my sorrow, my thoughts are not lucid, my mind is like the ball on a roulette wheel, spinning in the opposite direction. I barely notice time slipping through my fingers. I'm caught only in the silence of its wake.

I've found myself letting go again, letting life slip by me. Am I so tired of this world that I cannot bear the light of day and so I hide in shadow? Keeping myself locked away in my little world. A world no one gets into.

Songs play in my mind, singing to me only sadness.

I'll wake up. I have to wake up. I have to wake up.

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

Life is waiting for me outside my door but I don't know for how much longer? Will I wake up in time? Time is falling away. Soon I'll have none at all.