the vermin and the paladin

truth kept hidden by a lie,
the vermin and paladin juxtaposed,
we are all of us but broken bones,
healing within the fire of a tumultuous throne,

we are noble in our pain,
yet despicable in our fame,
this life our blight cannot contain,
though death is last thing we profane,

we live only to one day die,
though few believe that we can die to one day live,
life has struck us and pierced us like a shiv,
our bodies day by day escaping this mortal pit,

you are all of you vermin, i included,
this you may think the ravings of a mad man deluded,
none of you paladins, i and Charlemagne have concluded,
our strength is all but lost we are a species wounded,

Choo Jian Yi - Rest in Peace

Life is taken from us in an instant, treasure today but today we are robbed of one more good soul. My condolences to Choo Jian Yi's friends and family. May his soul find rest in the great beyond. May he live on in the memories of the people whose lives he touched with his unique character. My greatest hope is that we will all find something good amidst the tragedy before us. I hope my words are a comfort.

I wish I had known him better than I did, we always tell ourselves we have tomorrow but sometimes tomorrow never comes. He was a good friend to many and he will be sorely missed. And finally to all those who are mourning this loss, look around you and remember the people still here. For they, they need the greatest amount of comfort now.

Yours sincerely,

Tristan Devadason

mortality: God's gift to humanity

Immortality

If you could, would you live forever?

I don't think I would.

I believe it is our frailty, our mortality that makes us beautiful. The very fact that every second that passes us by is a second closer to our death makes the next second to come even more precious than the one that passed. I realize that sounds depressing and it is if you only focus on death and if you fear it. I believe because our time on earth is numbered it makes the smile on the face in front of you or the laugh of the person beside you or simply the eyes of the person across the hall from you all that more amazing to behold.

So it would seem to me that immortality on earth would only cheapen the experience. The smile, the laugh, the eyes would all be so banal. Losing all charm and what would be the point of living if everything around you lost its flavor. What then? I believe mortality is God's gift to us. We really should learn to cherish the time we've been allotted and make the most of the smiles and the laughs and people that are sent our way. I am learning to do that.

I'm continually star struck by how amazing some the people I meet are. Their little quirks and idiosyncrasies making them more than the sum their parts. These fascinating people are usually more aware of the world around them. They are not the stereotypes. In a world of the mundane, they see newness. I find them utterly fascinating. Maybe they see life like me. Maybe I'm more aware of the world around me.

I have these people in my heart. I hope I'm in theirs.

her name was tabitha, is

Death: Cessation, termination, the end of life. No longer being in existence. Dead.

Morbid & sadly numb. That's how I feel.

My Tabitha was taken from me, killed, my Tobey. My cat.

I love her. And I miss her, yet I can't bring myself to cry the tears that are lurking behind my eyes, they seem trapped in the maelstrom that is slowly swelling up within me. My heart feels wrenched out of place. Torn asunder. I feel hollow. Devoid of normality. Empty.

The song "stuck in a moment" by U2 sums how my mind feels, replaying over and over again my mum sobbing over the phone telling me that she had been run over.

I went cold, shut down, stopped breathing and froze still but the world around me kept on spinning, adjusting itself, complacent that there was one less life on the planet and making way for all the others that are about to be born.

I think somewhere in that I stopped spinning with the world.

Even as I sit here typing, I feel nothing inside me. A hollow husk. I just wish the tears would come. I want to get this over with. But I can't. I'm much like the ancient mariner stuck like a painted ship upon a painted ocean. I miss her. I miss her. I love her. My cat. My Tobey.

Silent, Solemn, Sorrowful, Chaos.

END