There are times when I ask myself, what would a monkey do if faced with the various predicaments that I find myself falling in & out of. Indeed what would a monkey do in my position? All I can come up with is arse scratching and bananas. Should my response to life's trials and tribulations be consuming copious amounts of banana while going at my posterior like a cat with blunt nails on scratching post.
The thought is not unpleasant. I do love bananas and butt scratching makes me feel very nice. Alas tis only a fools endeavour to pursue life with such simian philosophies. We've barely begun to understand how humanity works, how can we possibly hope to emulate our noble ape cousins. A truly perplexing conundrum, how ever will homo-ignoramus regress to a state of happy play time and supreme monkey loving of the naughty variety.
Sure we've got technology and money and gin & tonic with fancy little umbrella thingys that we place in said alcoholic beverage with a slice of lemon.
The question is what do we really have? We know technology will eventually kills us. Good examples are MTV and the internet. One rots your brain as evident from all the teens and adults who think the Jonas Brothers, Britney Spears, Miley Cyrus and 85% of what's on TV pass for artists or talented even, while the other gives you the illusion of having a life, indeed you're really the shit when you throw a sheep at someone. Then there is money and it being the root of all evil. On the upside, while money may not buy you happiness, i suppose it can make misery much easier to live with.
Then of course we've got gin, probably the only good thing we've made and contrary popular belief alcohol doesn't ruin your life, you do. Yes much love to the chap who distilled the first glass of gin and thought to himself "I wonder what this would be like with bubbly bitter water and a slice of lemon" yes, thank you sir I salute you!
And while I'm on the subject of alcohol I would like to make a shout out to my main man, God for giving us sugar cane, spices, the Caribbean and pirates and their ever awesome drink Rum! Arrrrr!
The pirate's life is a wonderful life...
Sidetracked. Yes alcohol, the taste of it, the smell of it, the thing it does to people you know so you can laugh at them and their alcohol enabled silliness.
Alcohol: Getting men laid since 10,000 BC
I digress, monkeys & alcohol! Weeeeeee! I ask... Can we frolic about bare-arsed scratching life away? No. Can we eat bananas buy the buckets like some people eat KFC and not suffer from loose bowels? No.
A sad state affairs. How I wish for the simpler pre-evolution times of earth. When it was the planet of the apes minus Charlton Heston and Mark Wahlberg in their respective film adaptations of the classic by Pierre Boulle.
To my primate comrades live life to the fullest before evolution gets you and sorry for the verbosity of this post. If it helps I knowing that you are slow readers, typed very slowly.
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